Post by EBR on Jun 22, 2014 10:37:20 GMT -5
Carmen King resides next to DGX on the plush leather sofa located in the Rated X dressing room, which for the record is bigger and nicer than the other dressing rooms. There’s a portrait of dogs playing poker hanging above said sofa. Carmen holds her iPad towards DGX, and together they’re huddled towards the screen as Carmen swipes her finger across it.
[/color]Carmen:[/color] What do think of this one? Do you think that would look good in the living room?
DGX:[/COLOR] Yeah it will do a good job of emitting light.
Carmen:[/color] Everyone I’ve talked too says that floor lamps are more practical and modern then your typical lighting fixtures. What about this one?
DGX:[/COLOR] Also good.
Carmen:[/color] Or do you think that would look better in the dining room?
From the leather chair to the left of the sofa, EBR looks up from his crossword puzzle and towards Mr. and Mrs. DGX, doing his best to hold in his snicker as DGX’s eyes dart towards him sharply, his sixth sense being the apparent ability to notice when EBR is having entertainment at his expense. The Pace Setting Ace of Professional Wrestling’s glare simply adds fuel to the proverbial fire, finally causing EBR to vocalize his laughter and drawing the attention of Carmen King. Calmly and without a hitch EBR diverts his eyes immediately back to his crossword puzzle while masking his laugh with a cough, rubbing his throat in the process as Carmen thinks nothing of it and goes back to her phone and interest in floor lamps. Clearly, this is a situation EBR has found himself in many times and thus has learned to master.[/color]
Carmen:[/color] So which one do you like best?
DGX:[/COLOR] Oh they’re all pretty great.
Carmen:[/color] But which one, Jon?
DGX:[/COLOR] Uh ... first.
Carmen:[/color] ... Really? You like that one?
DGX:[/COLOR] Why would you ask me if you’ve already made up your mind!?
Carmen:[/color] I just want to know why you like it better.
DGX:[/COLOR] It has good ergonomic design, okay!?
As DGX’s voice goes up, EBR’s poker face officially reaches hall of fame status.[/color]
Carmen:[/color] Don’t get so upset. They’re just floor lamps. I’m going to go get something to drink, you want anything?
DGX:[/COLOR] Still upset about the lamp discussion[/color] No.
Carmen:[/color] Want anything E? Maybe some more Halls?
EBR:[/COLOR] That’d be great, thanks.
Carmen:[/color] Are you sure you don’t want anything?
DGX:[/COLOR] Ye ... actually you know what; I would like an apple Snapple actually.
Watching from the corner of his eye until Carmen leaves the room and the door closes behind her, EBR turns to DGX straight-faced.[/color]
EBR:[/COLOR] You mean “power snack” Snapple?
DGX:[/COLOR] I said that one time ...
EBR:[/COLOR] Must be nice though.
DGX:[/COLOR] It is the best flavor of Snapple. That’s been proven.
EBR:[/COLOR] Nah I mean your whole ... Carmen ... wife ... thing.
DGX sighs and looks to go on a rant but quickly catches the camera and stops, which is the elephant in the room both figuratively and literally because why is there a camera in the first place? Either way, DGX opts not to say anything his fiancée may see and instead of questioning the contrived plot device that would allow his fiancée to see anything he might say, instead focus on how “literally” didn’t make sense in the previous sentence. Why would I say there’s an actual elephant in the room? Why would I do that? See, now you’re thinking about the elephant and suddenly the camera on its head doesn’t seem so out of place, does it?[/color]
DGX:[/COLOR] Mindful of camera[/color] ... Yes. Yes it is. Could not be better.
EBR:[/COLOR] Just remember; if you need advice on duvets I’m your man. In my experience? You get what you pay for.
DGX:[/COLOR] It doesn’t concern you that we’re reached the point that the two charter members of the Hall of Fame –
EBR:[/COLOR] One. For the umpteenth time, you’re not a charter member. You came in with like six other people two years after it was created.
DGX:[/COLOR] Eh that’s just semantics. There’s a discernible difference between what you’ve accomplished and what I’ve accomplished, with mine having more bulk.
EBR:[/COLOR] Clearly that’s not what this company thinks, but you were saying?
DGX:[/COLOR] It doesn’t concern you that we’ve reached the point that the two charter members of the Hall of Fame are so undervalued that we’re discussing duvets?
EBR:[/COLOR] The cheques haven’t bounced yet so I haven’t paid it any mind.
DGX:[/COLOR] Well I have, and I know what he’s doing.
EBR looks at him, one part inquisitive the other a more resounding interest in his book of puzzles.[/color]
DGX:[/COLOR] Hutton. Trying to agitate, trying to phase me out. And E, once you have Martin Bouchard requesting matches with you on the middle of the card only then do you see just how much you’ve been relegated. This is all part of his plan, and it’s becoming evident that it’s working. Like seriously? Martin Bouchard comes at me like him beating me is in some way a realistic outcome? It’s like the Twilight Zone out here. The man clearly has issues with me. What they are I have no possible idea, but issues man. Possibly insecure? I really have no way to know.
EBR:[/COLOR] Maybe he just doesn’t care for you anymore, personality wise?
DGX:[/COLOR] Nah that’s not it.
EBR:[/COLOR] I dunno, like real talk? After awhile you begin to grate on the nerves. Your company has a bit of a shell life.
DGX:[/COLOR] Did you just say shell life?
EBR:[/COLOR] Aha, yeah. Shelf life, slip of the tongue.
DGX:[/COLOR] What’s a shell life, E? Would that be if I was a hermit in a small space, like a crab of some kind? Do you think I’m a crab of some kind?
EBR:[/COLOR] Right. Absolutely no way that Hutton just doesn’t like you anymore. That’s out of the question.
DGX:[/COLOR] Whatever his reasons are, he’s being a bitch. Try and disrespect me? I ain’t playing that. I don’t care what our history is ... he’s walking on thin ice, and the further he goes the more cracks there are. The man needs to tread carefully, and start doing it soon.
EBR has been looking down at crossword for that entire paragraph.[/color]
EBR:[/COLOR] Yeah. Don’t want to fall into the water.
DGX:[/COLOR] You’re just not going to care? You’re aware that this stretches onto you? For God’s sake E, you announce that we’re on strike as a team and yet here we are, booked as a team and as unofficially the Tag Team Champions. How much do you think he values your opinion? Really.
EBR:[/COLOR] I know what the situation is.
DGX:[/COLOR] Do you? Because you seem pretty cool with it.
EBR:[/COLOR] Look at my face. Look at it. Now look at my beard. No one has made more of a sacrifice then me. I don’t want to go into specifics because I’m a gentleman and I don’t want to be crass, but all I’m saying is if I were to perform cunnilingus you wouldn’t even be able to tell where she ends and I begin, that’s all I’m gonna say ...
Like DGX you now have that visually image. It’s your call what you choose to do with it.[/color]
EBR:[/COLOR] We just have to ride it out and see where it takes us. Hutts can book us in whatever match he pleases, but I told him and everyone that we won’t compete until our title reign is officially recognized and last I checked, our names aren’t in the record books like they ought to be. So ... it is what it is. In fact, I think that I even bothered to show up at all really shows to my level of maturity and leadership. You’d think those qualities would be rewarded, but hey, it did take us months to get our contracts so who’s to say?
DGX:[/COLOR] So that’s your plan? Just going to sit in the back doing crosswords until this all works itself out?
EBR:[/COLOR] More or less. It improves my perspicacity. Hey speaking of, what’s an eight letter word for “award or honor”?
DGX:[/COLOR] Accolade.
EBR:[/COLOR] Nah that’s not it. It starts with an “i”.
DGX:[/COLOR] Let me see that ...
DGX is handed the book and he gives it a quick gloss over before handing it back.[/color]
DGX:[/COLOR] The Museum of Science and Industry is in Tampa, not Miami.
EBR throws the book the away.[/color]
EBR:[/COLOR] I’m not re-doing it. Ain’t nobody got time for dat.
DGX:[/COLOR] It’s that level of lethargy that’s helped put us in this mess.
EBR:[/COLOR] Don’t blame me because Hutton thinks you’re rude.
DGX:[/COLOR] Nah, for real. It’s on both of us, kind of ... I mean as much as someone’s irrational beef with me could be something I could control, but we just let ourselves get passed over in the pecking order. Now here we are, out of the public eye because you’re on strike. You’re sort of irrelevant in the grand scheme of the XWA at this point, E.
EBR:[/COLOR] That’s malarkey. Stop with the foolishness.
DGX:[/COLOR] Literally Satine X just cut a promo from a utility closet talking mad shit about everyone in Rated X but you. Literally he doesn’t even know you exist.
EBR:[/COLOR] Nah I’m just charming. People naturally gravitate towards me.
DGX:[/COLOR] Erm no, that’s not it.
EBR:[/COLOR] I’m a very charismatic individual.
DGX:[/COLOR] For real I just really don’t think he knows who you are.
EBR:[/COLOR] He knows that I’m delightful.
DGX:[/COLOR] Well even if that were true, he used to be an alcoholic and drug addict so I’m not sure his judgement is of a high standard to begin with.
EBR:[/COLOR] Dude I sponsor a child from World Vision. That’s twenty five cents a day to help save a child. A child with diseases.
DGX:[/COLOR] Aha and what’s your encore? The humane society?
EBR:[/COLOR] Dude that’s not funny. Those dogs have been neglected, mistreated, some have diseases ...
DGX:[/COLOR] Okay, so we’ve established you possibly have a fan base that consists of a brain-celled ridden Satine X and Sarah McLachlan.
EBR:[/COLOR] And Ndugu.
DGX:[/COLOR] Whatever the case, we’ve established that with that fan base you find yourself in a locker room doing ... trying to do a crossword puzzle instead of being celebrated for the longest title reign of any title in the history of the XWA.
Pausing momentarily, EBR reflects on that should-be accolade (and his perspicacity).[/color]
EBR:[/COLOR] Nodding[/color] Alright, you’re right. You’ve convinced me.
DGX:[/COLOR] So we’re on the same page?
EBR:[/COLOR] Yep. I’m going to “meet” with Hutts and I will “correct” him. This will all be “corrected”.
A smug, if not sinister look spreads across DGX’s face.[/color]
DGX:[/COLOR] Hutton’s in a “gots-to-go” situation.
EBR:[/COLOR] Yeah.
He continues to look at DGX and his perverse expression.[/color]
EBR:[/COLOR] ... Wait, what are you implying ...?
DGX:[/COLOR] What are you?
EBR:[/COLOR] ... Cause I was just gonna talk to him.
DGX:[/COLOR] Then ... what ... why the hell did you phrase it like that?
EBR:[/COLOR] I was just speaking normally. You have that wishful thinking thing going on where you’re just hearing what you want to hear. That’s probably a psychological disorder.
DGX:[/COLOR] So you really think we’re just going to walk into Hutton Brown’s office and say “excuse me, can you reinstate those Tag Titles that are held by someone you’ve let it be known you don’t like so we can beat a record that will never be broken, all while under your ownership?”.
EBR:[/COLOR] Nah, just me. We already know he doesn’t like you. He probably likes me though, you know, like same way Satine X likes me. So just chill, let me handle it, and wait for the magic to happen. EBR has played this game before.
DGX:[/COLOR] And if it doesn’t work ... I hope you know what needs to be done.
EBR:[/COLOR] Always with the damn attacks ... man move on, quit living in July. Have you learned nothing from ... uh ... that chick that Kraig brought in ... the one making eyes with Al ... Katie ...?
DGX:[/COLOR] Cathy.
EBR:[/COLOR] Have you learned nothing from Cathy? I’ll deal with this my way, and in a couple weeks? Moment of silence for the longest reigning Champions, no doubt.
The soon to be co-longest reigning Champion rises from his seat, heading towards the door.[/color]
EBR:[/COLOR] I got this. You know why? Because it needs to be done, and when deeds need to be done I’m the man ... plus my beard is getting really itchy.
DGX:[/COLOR] Just one thing, E.
Naturally this gets his attention before he departs.[/color]
DGX:[/COLOR] However this has to go down ... you don’t get to come back from the things we’ve done.
EBR:[/COLOR] Okay, that’s just a “Walking Dead” quote.
DGX:[/COLOR] Yeah its Carm’s favorite show ... I don’t really “get it”, personally.
EBR:[/COLOR] What’s there to get? It’s symbolically about the fall of civilization and the efforts to rebuild it before the plague takes over forever.
DGX:[/COLOR] Eh ... I guess so.
With that, EBR exits the locker room and this ends. Hey remember the elephant? That was wild.[/color][/center]