Post by Alex on Jun 23, 2022 19:48:30 GMT -5
so, yeah sorry about earlier fanfans, you know, slipping into that rhyming trance and divulging my disturbing dreams, it doesn't happen very often these days, the doctor says I been making good progress and that I can function in a normal society under controlled circumstances and well he never heard of an Eggswah so i told him it's very controlled and nothing ever spontanious happens there and that my colleagues are all level-headed professionals and please come on Doc I need this shiz and well he signed the release forms and yeah, here I am... :snotti:
Hana: And now ladies and gentlemen, here to officially sign his XWA contract and the thousands of waivers...oh wait, I wasn't meant to read that bit.."
Maxwell: :sarg:
Hana: Ahem... hailing from Cyberspace he is the latest EGGSWAH SUPASTAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH... The Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnn
Scorps: I can't believe they are actually making this official!
Sanction: I know, isn't it awesome!
Scorps: :sdry:
Hmmmmm... this is strange choice in music... It can't be Daz and Baz and Chaz messing around, they would play something ridiculously inappropriate,.... oh well, best not worry about it, I'll just make my way down to the ring... or well... I guess I'm making my way down... i mean that's where my feet seem to be taking me... crap do I really know what I'm letting myself in for? Damn i can't think about it now, this noise is deafening!
Audience: EGGSWAH! EGGSWAH! WE ARE FANNFANS clap-clap-clapclapclap!
Oh boy... there'll be a lot of people mightily disappointed if I don't sign..
Scorps: He's thinking of not signing?
Sanction: Damn I thought he gave up that first person narration thing!
Man... I don't know what to do... how crazy is that, this is everything I've ever dreamed about! It's just... well I've hardly seen my wife and kids at all since being on the road... I mean I know I didn't see them much when I was sitting at home watching Eggswah on tv or fighting with the guys, but at least I knew they were there and that I theoretically COULD see them if for some inexplicable reason i ever felt the inclination!
Damn, I'm in the ring already? I don't even remember climbing through the ropes! There's Hana. I better not mention how fricking hot she is and how I'd love to act out my armpit fetish with her until I get this narration filter sorted .
Hana: :oops:
Oh and there's Maxwell, the smug git. I don't think he likes me! GODDAMN that's one hard handshake!
Maxwell: I don't like you!
See, I told you fanfans. I should always trust my instincts... and my instincts tell me... hang on I think they're having a conference about this contract signing thing...
Maxwell: Oh for crying out loud, here's the pen, just sign the damn thing!
Damn, time to decide... should i sign it fanfans? Really? You think so? Well... ulp..ok then... wait a minute... I can't sign it til they turn the lights back on...
Sanction: What the hell? Who turned out the lights?
Scorps: Our guardian angesl or fairy god-mothers? :sbiggrin:
Ohhh...catchy song, did the guys pick this for me? Hmmm bad timing though I'm already in the ring, I think this is going to annoy Maxwell even more. Still they mean well though... wait a minute... strobe lightning... and somebody's coming down the ring, though I can't get a good look at him the lights are flashing to much... though he does look very serious though... and intimidating...
Scorps: Wait a minute... isn't that....
Sanction: No way! No, it can't be, what would he be doing here, he hates wrestling!
Scorps: Yeah but he specifially hates the Eggswah!
Sanction: This can't be good for the Fan!
Scorps: This can't be good for anyone.
Oh my God the lights are on, and he's stepping into the ring and he's looking right into my eyes, wow, their pretty intense eyes, damn, it's like I've seen them before in a dream, so dra...
Scorps: Oh that was nasty. My eyes are watering.
Sanction: That was one nasty head-butt, i feel kind of queezy!
Oh boy, I dink i'be broken by dose.... ugh... damn, I can't get up...man... now whadda he doin... hey... dat by contract... you can't sign that you is not eggswah, your eggswah days be ober
Scorps: Well I'll be damned! Looks like we have a new edition to roster!
Sanction: No way! No that can't be legal, you can't just come in and sign somebody else's contract like that! No, see, Maxwell is climbing into the ring now, he won't tolerate that...
Scorps: And Maxwell looks him in the eyes... and Maxwell is retreating rather rapidly and... well it looks like the negotiations are done.
Sanction: But...but... but it makes no sense... this man fought some of the toughest battles in Eggswah history to ESCAPE from his contract with this company!
Scorps: Now he's going back over to the fan... he's saying something but he doesn't have a microphone...
Sanction: Yeah but with the Fan's fourth wall removed we should be able to hear anything he does
Scorps: You know I hate encouraging that fourth wall crap, but on this occasion curiousity is getting the better of me!
ugh he cumbin back ober... he sittin on me... and
listen here boy and
listen feckin' good... so this is it huh big fella? God bless ya sure yer living the
dream... well take my advice sonny... dream
better... you ungrateful son of a bastard you have something i once had and would give
ANY
THING to
get back... anything... do you understand me son... me life... me limbs... and well... me soul, but then again sure we can't give what's already been taken away from us can we now?
p-pl-puhlease s-sst-stop
shhhhhhhhhhhhh.... there there now.... you must hush child... tears are only fer those of us with enough emotion inside to care... I've done you a favor lad... d'ya understand... I've letcha keep yer tears... and yer soul... go home now... go home to yer wife and kids... tell them ya luv them... even if ya don't... for when they're gone, they'll take all that and more from you...
b-b-but my dr-dr-dre...
no son.... shhh... enough o that gibberish... t'is not yer dream son, t'is yer worst nightmare... look son...
n-n-no
shhhh... ya must child, ya must see... look into these eyes now son
no... it..it's...
it's hideous son i know... no spark, no life and ne'er a soul... but there usta be, good God above I swear teir usta... you seen the old videos, me matches, me promos... look at you though... well... yer eyes are covered in blood right now, but they're alive me boy... don't go down that road son... d'ya promise? promise me lad....
I-i-i..pro... ugh he's shakin his head sadly... he knows I'm lying :scry:
I know lad, I know :ssad: I'm sorry son, I'm sorry it's come down to this... I had hope for ya, hope you'd make the right choice
he's... I think he's picking me up... he's grabbing me by the head, ow, my head's kinda sensitive right now and... oh boy... oh no... he's stuck it inside his legs, I'm... I'm trapped, he's squeezing to hard, I... oh no I feel his hands around my gut and...SHIT! SHIT! NO! I'm upside down, don't let him do this, I...
Sanction: Oh no, somebody need to get out there, he shouldn't be in that ring?
Scorps: Which one? ONE of them has actually signed an XWA contract!
Sanction: Why the hell did he come back here? Can you believe that self-righteous crap he was preaching to the Fan?
Scorps: Well... we are talking about the man who had his wife, kids, sanity, freedom and his whole identity taken away from him, I might be feeling a little self-righteous if I were in his shoes!
Sanction: Yeah but this is not going to end good... the last time we seen that move executed....
Scorps: Hey, I'm sure he's not going to go that far!
I'm right way up again, but trapped, I'm stuck to his back, we're back to back and, no wait, he's hoisting me up, oh GOD he's wrenching my neck and... and I can't see a thing there's to much blood in my eyes and no the tears are kind of washing it away and damn it just feels that my head is leaking all over and now I'm staring up at the lights and they're so damn bright and so warm it's so hot staring up at these lights and I don't even see what they have to be so bright for, who needs bright lights anyway, but I can't close my Goddamed eyes, it hurts to try to close them the congealed blood is lodged in them and it's making them water and they're filling up and I feel like my eyes are drowning in my own tears and they need airbut there's to much water and it's salt water and it stings and it's making everything so blurry except the fricking lights GOD PLEASE GOD turn off the damn lights because they are making me headache and making me dizzyness and I think maybe I'm losing coherent and ther'es sounds like they were really lound but now it's just like a wave washing over me like the tears except I don't see that water, I just hear it or maybe I feel it I suppose I can't be to sure but it's taking me away and I think that maybe that's a good thing, maybe I just need to get away like the lights and the sea and the soundwaves and it reminds me of something, something i thought i lost but now maybe it's coming back maybe...
CAW! CAW!
What are they Daddy? Seagulls? Wow they're so cool they just fly off into such a blue sky, I wish I could fly like that I'd fly right up to the son and touch it... yeah.
What Daddy? Who's Icarus? No, there's no Greeks in my class Daddy. Oh it's a story. Can you tell it? Hey let's build a sand-castle while we're doing it?
Awesome Daddy, this is the best castle ever, except I still don't understand why the boy's wings melted, i mean to get that close he'd have to fly into outer space first right? Hahah of course I'd never do that Daddy, I know my limits I know real people can't fly, but maybe by the time i grow up...
No Daddy it IS finished... it doesn't need another wall Daddy, three is fine, how will all the people know what's going on inside. What's that Daddy... somethings we keep to ourselves? isn't that kind of selfish...
No I'll be fine Daddy, the water's not even up to my chest yet, I won't go to far Daddy, I know I'm not a professional swimmer or anything, no of course it's not over my he...glub,glub... DADDY! DADDY HELP!
CAW! CAW!
I'm sorry Daddy... sorry Dad :cry:
...and so youse only have yerselves ta blame lads....the new guys I can forgive, sure how would Novak or Utah Joe no about it... but Tempest... Angelus... Rose... you guys have been around long enough lads to know better... and you fight in defense of this... institution... for it's HONOR?
Sanction: What the? Where's he going? He's...HE'S CLIMBING THE TRUNBUCKLE.... WITH THE FAN ON HIS BACK!
Scorps: OK, wow, yeah this is going to far!
I'm flying... I'm getting closer to the lights... I'm rising... it's bumpy but I'm getting there... but... the story was right... it's to bright, to warm, I can't take it, I can't close my eyes!
So take a good look at yer company yer so proud of, the place ya call home... look at what it does ta peoples lives because obviously you've forgotton what it did to others... look at what's about to happen and feel proud of how youse welcomed him into the fold and made his dreams come true... and sleep well at night lads... are ya watching? are ya sitting comfortably children? Good... this be one small step for the eggswah....
Scorps & Sanction: NOOOOO!
One giant leap fer the Drama
F-f-fanfans...it's ok...I...I c-can... I can close my eyes now fanfans... I...I th-think... my story's over... for now... I can close my eyes :shappy:
Hana: And now ladies and gentlemen, here to officially sign his XWA contract and the thousands of waivers...oh wait, I wasn't meant to read that bit.."
Maxwell: :sarg:
Hana: Ahem... hailing from Cyberspace he is the latest EGGSWAH SUPASTAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH... The Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnn
Scorps: I can't believe they are actually making this official!
Sanction: I know, isn't it awesome!
Scorps: :sdry:
Hmmmmm... this is strange choice in music... It can't be Daz and Baz and Chaz messing around, they would play something ridiculously inappropriate,.... oh well, best not worry about it, I'll just make my way down to the ring... or well... I guess I'm making my way down... i mean that's where my feet seem to be taking me... crap do I really know what I'm letting myself in for? Damn i can't think about it now, this noise is deafening!
Audience: EGGSWAH! EGGSWAH! WE ARE FANNFANS clap-clap-clapclapclap!
Oh boy... there'll be a lot of people mightily disappointed if I don't sign..
Scorps: He's thinking of not signing?
Sanction: Damn I thought he gave up that first person narration thing!
Man... I don't know what to do... how crazy is that, this is everything I've ever dreamed about! It's just... well I've hardly seen my wife and kids at all since being on the road... I mean I know I didn't see them much when I was sitting at home watching Eggswah on tv or fighting with the guys, but at least I knew they were there and that I theoretically COULD see them if for some inexplicable reason i ever felt the inclination!
Damn, I'm in the ring already? I don't even remember climbing through the ropes! There's Hana. I better not mention how fricking hot she is and how I'd love to act out my armpit fetish with her until I get this narration filter sorted .
Hana: :oops:
Oh and there's Maxwell, the smug git. I don't think he likes me! GODDAMN that's one hard handshake!
Maxwell: I don't like you!
See, I told you fanfans. I should always trust my instincts... and my instincts tell me... hang on I think they're having a conference about this contract signing thing...
Maxwell: Oh for crying out loud, here's the pen, just sign the damn thing!
Damn, time to decide... should i sign it fanfans? Really? You think so? Well... ulp..ok then... wait a minute... I can't sign it til they turn the lights back on...
Sanction: What the hell? Who turned out the lights?
Scorps: Our guardian angesl or fairy god-mothers? :sbiggrin:
Ohhh...catchy song, did the guys pick this for me? Hmmm bad timing though I'm already in the ring, I think this is going to annoy Maxwell even more. Still they mean well though... wait a minute... strobe lightning... and somebody's coming down the ring, though I can't get a good look at him the lights are flashing to much... though he does look very serious though... and intimidating...
Scorps: Wait a minute... isn't that....
Sanction: No way! No, it can't be, what would he be doing here, he hates wrestling!
Scorps: Yeah but he specifially hates the Eggswah!
Sanction: This can't be good for the Fan!
Scorps: This can't be good for anyone.
Oh my God the lights are on, and he's stepping into the ring and he's looking right into my eyes, wow, their pretty intense eyes, damn, it's like I've seen them before in a dream, so dra...
CRACK
Scorps: Oh that was nasty. My eyes are watering.
Sanction: That was one nasty head-butt, i feel kind of queezy!
Oh boy, I dink i'be broken by dose.... ugh... damn, I can't get up...man... now whadda he doin... hey... dat by contract... you can't sign that you is not eggswah, your eggswah days be ober
Scorps: Well I'll be damned! Looks like we have a new edition to roster!
Sanction: No way! No that can't be legal, you can't just come in and sign somebody else's contract like that! No, see, Maxwell is climbing into the ring now, he won't tolerate that...
Scorps: And Maxwell looks him in the eyes... and Maxwell is retreating rather rapidly and... well it looks like the negotiations are done.
Sanction: But...but... but it makes no sense... this man fought some of the toughest battles in Eggswah history to ESCAPE from his contract with this company!
Scorps: Now he's going back over to the fan... he's saying something but he doesn't have a microphone...
Sanction: Yeah but with the Fan's fourth wall removed we should be able to hear anything he does
Scorps: You know I hate encouraging that fourth wall crap, but on this occasion curiousity is getting the better of me!
ugh he cumbin back ober... he sittin on me... and
BAM
listen here boy and
BAM
listen feckin' good... so this is it huh big fella? God bless ya sure yer living the
BAM
dream... well take my advice sonny... dream
BAM
better... you ungrateful son of a bastard you have something i once had and would give
BAM
ANY
BAM
THING to
BAM
get back... anything... do you understand me son... me life... me limbs... and well... me soul, but then again sure we can't give what's already been taken away from us can we now?
p-pl-puhlease s-sst-stop
shhhhhhhhhhhhh.... there there now.... you must hush child... tears are only fer those of us with enough emotion inside to care... I've done you a favor lad... d'ya understand... I've letcha keep yer tears... and yer soul... go home now... go home to yer wife and kids... tell them ya luv them... even if ya don't... for when they're gone, they'll take all that and more from you...
b-b-but my dr-dr-dre...
no son.... shhh... enough o that gibberish... t'is not yer dream son, t'is yer worst nightmare... look son...
n-n-no
shhhh... ya must child, ya must see... look into these eyes now son
no... it..it's...
it's hideous son i know... no spark, no life and ne'er a soul... but there usta be, good God above I swear teir usta... you seen the old videos, me matches, me promos... look at you though... well... yer eyes are covered in blood right now, but they're alive me boy... don't go down that road son... d'ya promise? promise me lad....
I-i-i..pro... ugh he's shakin his head sadly... he knows I'm lying :scry:
I know lad, I know :ssad: I'm sorry son, I'm sorry it's come down to this... I had hope for ya, hope you'd make the right choice
he's... I think he's picking me up... he's grabbing me by the head, ow, my head's kinda sensitive right now and... oh boy... oh no... he's stuck it inside his legs, I'm... I'm trapped, he's squeezing to hard, I... oh no I feel his hands around my gut and...SHIT! SHIT! NO! I'm upside down, don't let him do this, I...
Sanction: Oh no, somebody need to get out there, he shouldn't be in that ring?
Scorps: Which one? ONE of them has actually signed an XWA contract!
Sanction: Why the hell did he come back here? Can you believe that self-righteous crap he was preaching to the Fan?
Scorps: Well... we are talking about the man who had his wife, kids, sanity, freedom and his whole identity taken away from him, I might be feeling a little self-righteous if I were in his shoes!
Sanction: Yeah but this is not going to end good... the last time we seen that move executed....
Scorps: Hey, I'm sure he's not going to go that far!
I'm right way up again, but trapped, I'm stuck to his back, we're back to back and, no wait, he's hoisting me up, oh GOD he's wrenching my neck and... and I can't see a thing there's to much blood in my eyes and no the tears are kind of washing it away and damn it just feels that my head is leaking all over and now I'm staring up at the lights and they're so damn bright and so warm it's so hot staring up at these lights and I don't even see what they have to be so bright for, who needs bright lights anyway, but I can't close my Goddamed eyes, it hurts to try to close them the congealed blood is lodged in them and it's making them water and they're filling up and I feel like my eyes are drowning in my own tears and they need airbut there's to much water and it's salt water and it stings and it's making everything so blurry except the fricking lights GOD PLEASE GOD turn off the damn lights because they are making me headache and making me dizzyness and I think maybe I'm losing coherent and ther'es sounds like they were really lound but now it's just like a wave washing over me like the tears except I don't see that water, I just hear it or maybe I feel it I suppose I can't be to sure but it's taking me away and I think that maybe that's a good thing, maybe I just need to get away like the lights and the sea and the soundwaves and it reminds me of something, something i thought i lost but now maybe it's coming back maybe...
CAW! CAW!
What are they Daddy? Seagulls? Wow they're so cool they just fly off into such a blue sky, I wish I could fly like that I'd fly right up to the son and touch it... yeah.
What Daddy? Who's Icarus? No, there's no Greeks in my class Daddy. Oh it's a story. Can you tell it? Hey let's build a sand-castle while we're doing it?
Awesome Daddy, this is the best castle ever, except I still don't understand why the boy's wings melted, i mean to get that close he'd have to fly into outer space first right? Hahah of course I'd never do that Daddy, I know my limits I know real people can't fly, but maybe by the time i grow up...
No Daddy it IS finished... it doesn't need another wall Daddy, three is fine, how will all the people know what's going on inside. What's that Daddy... somethings we keep to ourselves? isn't that kind of selfish...
No I'll be fine Daddy, the water's not even up to my chest yet, I won't go to far Daddy, I know I'm not a professional swimmer or anything, no of course it's not over my he...glub,glub... DADDY! DADDY HELP!
CAW! CAW!
I'm sorry Daddy... sorry Dad :cry:
...and so youse only have yerselves ta blame lads....the new guys I can forgive, sure how would Novak or Utah Joe no about it... but Tempest... Angelus... Rose... you guys have been around long enough lads to know better... and you fight in defense of this... institution... for it's HONOR?
Sanction: What the? Where's he going? He's...HE'S CLIMBING THE TRUNBUCKLE.... WITH THE FAN ON HIS BACK!
Scorps: OK, wow, yeah this is going to far!
I'm flying... I'm getting closer to the lights... I'm rising... it's bumpy but I'm getting there... but... the story was right... it's to bright, to warm, I can't take it, I can't close my eyes!
So take a good look at yer company yer so proud of, the place ya call home... look at what it does ta peoples lives because obviously you've forgotton what it did to others... look at what's about to happen and feel proud of how youse welcomed him into the fold and made his dreams come true... and sleep well at night lads... are ya watching? are ya sitting comfortably children? Good... this be one small step for the eggswah....
Scorps & Sanction: NOOOOO!
One giant leap fer the Drama
SNAP
F-f-fanfans...it's ok...I...I c-can... I can close my eyes now fanfans... I...I th-think... my story's over... for now... I can close my eyes :shappy: